Why don’t men ask for help
Communication is essential in life. Communication is receiving more and more attention from society. Communication is also an art.
We hope that the “Art of Communication” column can give readers a little inspiration from a psychological perspective.
You are about to leave the house, and your kittens and puppies are left unattended.
How to do?
Should I pay for it personally, or will I ask a friend for help?
If you ask for help, you will owe others a favor; if you pay for it, you will be afraid of others.
For this kind of thing, you really want to get help from your friends, but you are embarrassed to say it, in case you are rejected by your friends, how shameless?
Moreover, unless the friend reluctantly agrees, maybe he will prepare you to stay away in the future?
In life, some women also have this experience: if they go out with their husband or boyfriend, if they get lost in an unfamiliar place, he does not like to ask for directions, but follows his feelings and judgment stubbornly.
If you persuade him to ask for directions, he will become angry and angry.
In fact, this is a very common phenomenon for men.
They don’t ask people for help easily, especially in the presence of the opposite sex, they want to show their opinions, and sometimes they leave a bad impression of “dead mind” and “arrogance”.
Why are men not willing to ask for help?
This has something to do with their education from childhood.
Unlike girls, boys have been imbued with the concept of “independence and self-reliance” from an early age, asking them to take pride in “being a man” and educating them to keep girls and protect them.
It is not difficult to find that although the children are in conflict, the little boy who bullies others will be reprimanded by the teacher and parents, but other boys will think that he is strong, powerful, envious and afraid of him.
On the contrary, the boy who was bullied and only cried, but the boy who complained to the adult was ridiculed by his companion.
From little boy to big boy to becoming a man, men at every stage are constantly being reinforced with the concept that their own difficulties are carried by themselves, and good men do not easily ask for help.
So letting men ask for help, for them, it is necessary to cross the psychological barrier formed over many years.
Men are reluctant to ask for help, because the deep self-esteem has made them replace the independent situation.
They are willing to achieve their goals through their own efforts, while exercising and improving themselves in the process.
In addition, men attach great importance to friendship. In their eyes, friendship is not a reminder code for asking for help.
Therefore, only when encountering difficulties that can’t be overcome independently, men will think of troublesome friends.
Psychologists believe that asking for help is not a shameful thing, nor does it mean that the ability of the helper is insufficient. On the contrary, seeking help helps make more friends.
It’s not so difficult to ask a friend for help.
Roberts, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, suggests that in order to reduce this unwillingness to ask for help, when you encounter difficulties, you can prepare more solutions.
In this way, even if your friend really rejects you, you will not be too disappointed, and will not make your friend feel guilty.
Never let your friends feel guilty about rejecting you.
Many people mistakenly believe that if he is my friend, he should promise to help me.
As a result, even if your friend reluctantly agrees for the sake of face, your friendship has actually been hurt.
”Don’t fully expect your friend to promise you, because maybe he has his difficulties, and even if he is your best friend, he has no obligation to promise you every request.
“Thinking about this can alleviate the pressure of asking for help.
”A gentleman’s friendship is as light as water” does not mean that friends can help each other and have contacts. This is precisely an important way to maintain friendship and develop friendship.
Everyone has the psychology: When receiving the help of others, they will naturally have the desire to reward others.
Rewarding friends and giving them the opportunity to be helped and served can arouse the courage to ask friends for help.